"Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy."
V.
sobota, 10. december 2011, 12:31
He asked me how am I doing this. Where I found the strength to keep everyone away. He said, that in a way, he gets it. Understands. ''Don't lock away your whole life.'' he whispered as he pulled out another cigarette, took my lighter and instead of lighting his cigarette he pulled his palm over the fire. ''It makes you feel warm. It makes you feel warm if you keep the distance. When you get closer... Well, it burns. For the first few seconds, it's a wonderful feeling. But after a while, you can feel all the pain behinds it.'' He opened the palm of his hand out in the cold air and in the middle of it was a red circle. ''But without the fire all you can do is feel cold. And the pain lessens in time. It doesn't hurt so much.'' He lits his cigarette and gave me back my lighter. ''You can keep away from it. But sooner or later, the one you're waiting for will step in your life. If you push everyone away, how will you be able to recognize him?'' he asked. It got me thinking. I sat down on a wet bench next to him and look up. ''I don't know.'' I whispered, ''I guess I'll just know''. He didn't say anything for a while. He just stood there, watching me play with lighter. Then he laughed. ''You're just going to know? Just like that? Do you really believe this bullshit? That true love will struck you like lightening? Well, let me tell you something. This is utter nonsense. I mean you don't let anyone in, but you believe in this? Please, just get your mind down from the clouds. You'll never have a life if you believe in this. And besides, how do you know I'm not the one for you? How do you know he's not the one for you?'' He pointed at some guy passing by. I looked at him and in that moment I didn't want to talk about this any more. All I wanted was to disappear. I started walking and he continued: ''Don't bother me. Just keep your heart safe. What is wrong with you? Can't you see I'm trying to help you?'' I heard him standing up, so I walked even faster. ''I'll wait,'' he yelled ''so take your time.'' I started running.
What if he was right? What if there is something wrong with me?
And really, how will I know?
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