"Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy."
Yamanai uta wo.
petek, 26. avgust 2011, 14:26
Yamanai ame.
Yamanai oto.
Yamanai kizu.
Yamanai ai.
Yamanai oto.
Yamanai kizu.
Yamanai ai.
You will always be my Paris.
četrtek, 25. avgust 2011, 15:22
Your shirt is still there.
I didn't touch it for more then 7 months now.
Guess that I'm making my way out.
But I still miss you.
I think this is the only things that cannot be healed.
I didn't touch it for more then 7 months now.
Guess that I'm making my way out.
But I still miss you.
I think this is the only things that cannot be healed.
Terauchi.
15:06
Are my ideas too complicated? I'm the kind of person who thinks about difficult things more then others. That's why at home and at school I'm always joking around. The reason is simple - even if I exposed the real me to other people, they wouldn't understand. There is a huge gap between me and other people - a gap in ability, experience, and feelings. I feel above human relationships, so I'm constantly holding myself in check. Controlling myself like this zaps all my energy, so I gave up on studying and don't take it seriously. I figured out long ago that studying for exams is nothing more than figuring out how to work the system. My weapon is that I can hide my feeling and say something stupid to cover them up. I was frightened by the optimism of adults, their stupid trust in science to treat a troubled heart. Afraid of their obsession with believing they have to treat troubled kids. They've created this society where lies are uncovered.
The truth is, I'm a disagreeable person who's always observing my friends with a cool, detached eye. I'm this sort of contrary person, who thinks the only people worth knowing are those who get angry with me, but when they do get angry, I cleverly hide myself.
nedelja, 21. avgust 2011, 13:15
I really don't know who I am anymore. I lost the track of what I want, what I love, what I care about. Every single day I wake up, feeling totally useless and without will to live but somehow I manage to get up thinking that maybe today is gonna be different. But it isn't. It never is. Same things all over again. A moment of happiness, gone in a second, leaving my emptiness even bigger then before. Struggling through the day, hiding everything inside, pleasing everyone but myself. I feel myself drifting away from everything and I'm afraid that this time, there won't be no one to pull me back. I'm living with illusions in my mind, making up scenarios, thinking about how my life would look like if I wasn't so fucked up... But there come days when those illusions come crumbling down, leaving me and my bored-ness and my depression all alone in my room, with my mind screaming from so many thoughts running here and there. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to talk about it. I'm trying. Trying so hard for the past few years but I'm losing faith. People say I look happier. How could this be when I feel even more fucked up then before? Mysteries of life. Who would have thought I would turned out this way? Is this how it's supposed to be? Is this who I am?
I'm scared.
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