I stayed far away from you as possible.
To forget the feelings and memories of you.
But today, when you passed me by,
gently touching my back to push me aside,
smiling, saying excuse me, everything came back to me.
One touch simply crashed one year of my hard trying into nothing.

And it's not that what bothers me.
It's the knowing fact that it didn't meant anything to you.
You just walked on like I was air.
It's not like I blame you, I forgave you long ago,
but, please, don't touch me anymore. Even if it's not deliberately.

And everything that once felt so real is now disappearing into thich darkness.
Even the pain you left me with is gone.


But in a way, i'm glad.
If loosing myself is a price to pay to forget you,
well, i'll kindley accept it.

I won't wear my heart upon my sleeve.
You can say I don't have a heart, you can call me coldhearted.
I doesn't really matter you know.
Because I know you can't understand my reasons behind it.
But I love you even if I don't show it.

자사 괜찮 아요

In mogoče bo kdaj prišlo mimo.
Počasi, z zanesljivim korakom bo zakorakalo skozi orkan.
Vzelo bo mojo roko in zaplesalo.

Ampak za zdaj, za zdaj naj me še pusti.
Tukaj v hiši, dišeči po nekdanji družini.
Pusti me vsaj še malo.
Dokler se vonj ne razkadi kot para v zimski noči.

__

Hidding under the sheets won't help you.
You need to stand up and fight.

Because that's what life is. A Fight.
And if you lost one battle doesn't mean you lost a war.
It just mean you need to try harder next time.

And if you fail again, make sure you fail better.

[domo arigato okasan!]

Mogoče zdaj.
Mogoče kdaj.
Mogoče nikoli.

Saj vem. Ni letelo name. Ne, saj nikoli ne. Toda globoko v podzavesti veš, kdo je glavna osebnost.
Še vedno skeli, veš. Napadi panike, je rekla zdravnica. Vsaj mama več ne vrta vame, potem ko je dobila ta odgovor. Čeprav ji zdravnica ni mogla zagotoviti kaj jih povzroča.
Na stolu je vlekla iz mene vse skrivnosti. Samo te ne. In je ne bo.
Bojim se, da, če te delim, boš iluzija. Sanje.
Zdaj še vsaj vem da je bilo resnično.
Zjutraj na tešče ena majhna bela tabletka. Baje dela čudeže.
Napolni te z mavrico.
Ni videti. Vsaj meni ne pomaga.
Ampak, če je kaj na tem, je moja igra popolna. Super so tablete, res. Super.